Trapped Within Eternity
by Dilandau2
Summary: What does Akio do with Mikage after he graduates? This is my interpretation.


Trapped Within Eternity. By Rita  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing from Revolutionary Girl Utena belongs to me. If it were up to me poor little Mikage would have a happy ending.  
  
*Drip...*  
*Glup...*  
*Drip...*  
*Glup...*  
...These are the only sounds that accompany me in these days. ... I am not real, just an illusion, so why do I still suffer? Yet here I am, in a perfect replica of the illusion that was once Nemuro Memorial Hall. Only, this time, I cannot leave. I'm trapped, all alone...  
  
Did I say a perfect replica? My mistake, I meant nearly perfect. The elevator, the room where 100 boys now rest for all eternity, the room where we grew roses, the kitchen...  
  
I wander through the halls into ou --- my --- bedroom. It is largely unchanged, the bedspread, the wallpaper, the scent of roses drifting through the air, the dressers... However, I know things have changed by what sits on top of the dresser. Every time I see it, it brings pain to my "heart." (I say it like that for I often wonder, if I was an illusion, how can I have a heart...?) Where once stood a picture of me and the boy I once thought was Mamiya, there is now a picture of the siblings, Akio and Anthy. That...that temptress, that...bitch, clutching her manipulative bastard of a brother. When I saw it for the first time, I hurled it against the wall with all my might. It fell to the floor, the frame shattered, and there it remains.  
  
I stopped going to that room...it hurts too much...there are too many memories... Instead I took a blanket and a pillow and moved to the empty room where we grew black roses. Empty, save for the aquarium, the only source of light. However, no longer do black roses bloom within, though the tank itself is far from abandon. When I stare into the depths of the cool blue water, it shows me...things. The things it show me are wide in variety, they range from random to significant. I sit down in front of it now and begin to brood, subconsciously taking in the images it shows me...  
  
A rose.  
  
A cat.  
  
A wilted weed within a vase. A blue tinted monocle.  
  
A black and white landscape.  
  
A woman with long red hair being beaten by a man with white.  
  
A child nursing a popped balloon.  
  
...Tokiko...  
  
Suddenly my eyes are stinging and I turn away from the aquarium now, turn into the endless darkness of the room. I don't want to see anymore...  
  
Sometimes, on rare occasions, I'm not alone in this darkness. One time, while staring at the tank, white spirits began to swim around within the depths. ...The spirits of the 100 boys whose lives I took... They taunted me, told me to break out of the cage of eternity Akio was keeping me trapped within, to join them. They teased me about Akio and Mamiya and Tokiko and how I was manipulated. They forced me to remember memories I wanted to forget, things I was ashamed of, but I was helpless against them...I couldn't look away. Suddenly, a dark colored spirit entered the tank and chased the others away. I haven't seen them since, and for that I'm grateful. The dark colored spirit remained in the tank for a while, staring at me, comforting me...it seemed somehow...familiar. Eventually, with some reluctance, it disappeared. Unfortunately, I haven't seen it since either...  
  
Sometimes the tank allows me to see the girl...what was her name? I can't seem to recall, but it's of little importance. After all, what is truly in a name? Her future certainly looks bright, however. She continues to win all her duels and I often find myself silently cheering her on. Though, I do find it a shame that she fights for that wicked girl, Anthy. The girl who deceived me...  
  
A sudden thought crosses my mind randomly...it does that a lot, lately. What if I had indeed succeeded in killing the Rose Bride? I would have inadvertently killed the one I thought was Mamiya, and I would have been crushed. (Not that I am emotionally well at the moment, nay, far from it.) Not to mention there would be no Rose Bride. I wonder what Akio would do then? ...But Akio planned it out too well that I would lose and Akio's plans rarely fail, I will give him that. After all, he did outsmart the "genius." ...That manipulative -bastard- outsmarted the "genius"...  
  
...I want out. I don't deserve this, do I?! Why?! I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but they were mistakes made out of love! Weren't they? Weren't they?!  
  
I did what I did to protect the ones I loved! I burned down the research hall to spare Tokiko the emotional pain of losing her brother! I released the darkness from the black rose duelists'' hearts to save Mamiya! Isn't it the basic nature of most living creatures to support, nurture and protect their family unit, no matter what the price?!... ...Despite what I think, I must be an awful person. No one will ever forgive me.... Tokiko went on without me... Mamiya abandon me... Akio used me ... even the girl whose name is long forgotten, with her kind and compassionate heart, couldn't sympathize with me. Why? It's not my fault...  
  
Now I curl up in the darkness of the corner as the aquarium glows, serenely laughing at my pain. My constant companion...  
  
...For all eternity...  
  
*Drip*  
*Glup* 


End file.
